Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Jesus is the Answer Short-Term Missions

The following is a paid mission advertisement. The views expressed in this advertisement do not necessarily reflect those of the blog owner, however, as a struggling group of missionaries, we are glad they paid us to advertise here.

New from Jesus is the Answer Short-Term Missions, unbelievable mission opportunities for your group or church.

Jesus is the Answer Short-Term Missions is the absolute best mission value you will find. If you have considered going on or leading a mission trip but have held back, we are for you!

We offer low cost missions with high impact results. Don’t be fooled. We are not like the other organizations that tell you training is a must and make you pay exorbitant fees.

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I did not have time to do the kind of training those other organizations required of us. So I Googled "easy short-term missions" and Jesus is the Answer came up. I am glad they did. They were life savers! Low price, great value, and all with a minimum of work on my part. Our group was able to really experience the poverty of Methusahlaland first hand as we drove around in our motor coach. I heartily recommend Jesus is the Answer Short-Term Missions if your goal is to have an impact and keep the price low!

Dave T., Pastor, Church of the Heart, Smith, Georgia

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Are you tired of all the forms you need to fill out when you serve with else? Are you too busy to have all those meetings with your group for them to “get it.” Come with Jesus is the Answer!

Here at Jesus is the Answer Short-Term Missions, we know you are busy and don’t have time for all that stuff. That’s why with us, all you have to do is pay your small fee and show up!

And then watch what the Holy Spirit will do. That’s right, just show up and watch the Holy Spirit work on your group.

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There is no better mission organization than Jesus is the Answer. Without any training at all our group was able to lead 17 adult men to the Lord and see many people healed during the week. Between that, the great food, and the warm showers our group is returning with a new attitude. The fact that we were able to do all of this and pay almost nothing is amazing. I never knew missionaries in foreign countries could live on so little. Thank you Jesus is the Answer for opening our eyes.

Tommy P., Youth Pastor, First Community Church of The Brethren

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How much does it cost to participate with us? Other organizations charge as much as $1000.00 for a one week mission. Not us. Our all inclusive mission can be yours for only $99.00! Gourmet food, pillow top mattresses, deluxe motor coach for transportation, flush toilets, hot showers, and special Jesus is the Answer Evangelism Luggage Tags embossed with John 3:16.

That’s right, for less than $100.00 you get all this and can sit back and marvel at the life change you will soon see.

But wait there’s more! If you sign up this week, we will guarantee that your group will see 15 people come to the Lord and participate in 19 water baptisms.

How’s that for only $99.00? But there’s even more.

If you sign your group up in the next 24 hours and agree to bring a minimum of 15 participants, we will include the special mid-week miracle service where demons are slain, the lame walk, and the blind see!

So what are you waiting for? Call Jesus is the Answer Short-Term Missions today at 634-723-SAVE and plug your group into the spout where the glory comes out. Our operators are standing by!

Life change in your group, your church, and the people whom you serve is at your fingertips.

Don’t be left behind!

We now return this blog to the regular seriousness you have come to expect!

[Hat tip to Michael Beuving and my wife Chelle for the inspiration!]

9 comments:

Peter said...

Are the baptisms full immersion, or just sprinkling? If full immersion, can I get a 25% discount if I only want to see sprinkling?

Dave Miller said...

You know you can Peter! BTW, infant baptisM is even less!

Peter said...

Well, in that case, what if I don't even care how many get saved or baptized? Will you take me for free?

Dave Miller said...

We will pay you to come... we'll lose money on every participant, but make it up in volume.

Seriously, as a host receiver, sometimes this is the kind of stuff I have to battle.

People want it all, and real cheap, because of course, it is all for the Lord...

Peter said...

Well, it only makes sense that you should pay me. After all, I've given up my precious, extremely limited vacation time to come on your trip. You should do all you can to make me comfortable and cater to my every whim!!

Johnson Pang said...

amazing! i can bring 10 adults but 15 will come to Christ. sign us up every summer/springbreak/winterbreak.

Johnson Pang said...

and i bet you if you put this out there for reals, you'll get some real responses. yes, very sad indeed.

Dave Miller said...

So a good friend of mine sent me this response, and said I could post it here...

Dear Dave

I pray for patience as people (even pastors) say "ooh, that is expensive" when I talk about the cost of missions trips. In most cases, I feel the real expense is the sacrifice needed to save the money, more than the money itself.

For those who have saved and tried to raise the money all year, I have no problem giving some monetary assistance to them . For those who do nothing all year and say I can't afford it, I'd love to say I guess you really didn't want to go in the first place.

People will accept crippling amounts of debt for the new car, the fancy vacation, the 100 inch HD TV, or the newest electronic gadget... but sacrificing or delaying these to impact the life of someone in a different culture it too much of a price to pay.

What a shame that they miss out on a great blessing from God.

Brian...

Michael said...

hahahaha! Awesome...this needs to be distributed far and wide. I'm going to pass this and not just because my name is on it, although that sweetens the deal :).